When Purple Bunnies Attack
by Yatrice11
Summary: This is my very 1st fanfic. I know the title sounds, well, special, but its not as stupid as it sounds. At least I don't think so. Try it and see!
1. Prologue

When Purple Bunnies Attack  
  
(Words) = thinking  
  
* Bear in mind that this is my first time writing a story, so I won't be surprised if it sucks.  
  
It was a morning of utmost beauty. The sun began to rise in all of its yellow magnificance, painting the dark sky an orange hue. Life, both young and old, sprung to life with a feeling of a day, a new beginning, and a new promise. All of the sounds and creatures of nature seem to sing with the light of the sun coming into the sky. Yes, as you can see, this brand new day was a special one.  
  
"ARRRGGGGHH! Damn the fucking sun and its ultraviolet rays in my eyes. DAMN IT TO HELL!!"  
  
.Yes, a special morning indeed.  
  
"Unngh" Waking up was one of the worst things to do in the morning to Bulma. Along with actually getting OUT of bed. Eventually, though, she managed to untangle herself from the sheets and roll out of bed. and onto the floor. "Ouch" Slowly, Bulma staggard to her feet, and attempted to wobble to the bathroom. As she reached the door, a squeak was heard somewhere to her left. "Nani?" Bulma inquired. But when she turned to look, she found nothing. "Strange," Bulma whispered to herself, "I could have sworn.." But before she could finish her thought, another squeak was heard to her right. Bulma whirled around to her right to find. nothing, again. "Oookay, dismissing that". And with that, Bulma preceded to open the bathroom door and walk inside. A shame really. If only Bulma had further inspected the right corner, next to her bedroom door, she would have noticed some tuffs of purple animal fur. This one discovery could have prevented the horror that was about to ensue upon our unsuspecting vict.. I mean heroes!  
  
What did you think? Okay? Good? Bad? Horrible? It's my first fic, so I don't really know what to expect. Anyway, Chapter 1: Just your basic morning, is coming soon. Till then! 


	2. Chapter 1: Just your basic morning

When Purple Bunnies Attack  
  
(Words) = thinking  
  
Disclaimer: I'm sorry, I forgot to do this in the prologue. I do not own anything. Simple as that.  
  
"Unngghh, damn fucking sun". As you can see, the saiyajin no ouji wasn't a morning person. After 10 minutes of trying to block out the sun's rays and go back to sleep, Vegeta finally had enough and rolled out of bed. After stretching his muscles and cursing the sun one last time, Vegeta made his way downstairs and began to do the first thing on his daily to do list: annoy Bulma for food.  
Meanwhile, Bulma was enjoying a nice, hot morning bath. "Ahh, nothing like a hot, soothing bath full of bubbles to make a women feel refreshed." In fact, Bulma's bath was so relaxing; she could feel herself begin to slip back into dreamland. As her eyes drooped further and further, she noticed something fuzzy hop onto the bathtub ledge. Now, in Bulma's current state of mind, she didn't seem to find this alarming. But she did notice something strange. (Strange, it looks. purple. Oh well, whatever) Sadly, she didn't seem to notice this purple fuzzy thing was staring at her bubble covered chest with a crazed look in its eyes, a crooked smile on its face, and drool dribbling down its chin. Because she didn't notice any of this, Bulma continued to slip further and further into a peaceful sleep. (This is so relaxing. I can't keep my eyes open. It's so peaceful, so calm, so soothing, so.)  
  
"WOMAN! YOU, KITCHEN, FOOD, NOW! AND BE QUICK ABOUT IT!"  
  
. 'Sigh' (Of course. I'm surprised it lasted this long). Now fully awake, and with another sigh, Bulma managed to pull herself out of the tub, wrap her body in a towel, and walk out of the bathroom. Funny, the purple fuzzy thing was gone too.  
  
After 30 minutes, Bulma finally made it downstairs, fully dressed. She was greeted by a very hungry and irritated saiyan. "Geez, woman, could you have possibly taken any longer?" Vegeta said, voice filled with sarcasm and annoyance. Annoyed herself now, Bulma replied mockingly, "Geez, woman, could you have possibly taken any longer." Vegeta glared at Bulma. "Never mock the saiyajin no ouji". "Never anger the one cooking your food." ".?" " That's what I thought." And with that, Bulma started to make breakfast.  
  
"WOMAN! How do you always manage to mess up something as simple as making breakfast every fucking morning?!" "My name is Bulma, jackass. And you have no room to talk. You probably couldn't make toast!" "Says the one who caused an entire kitchen consuming fire by simply putting bread in a stupid toaster!" That fire was SO not my fault. The toaster was defective!" " Oh, it wasn't the toaster that was defective. You dropped the piece of bread in the fucking grease in the frying pan and still put it in the toaster." " Hey mom, hey dad. What's for breakfast?" " SHUT UP TRUNKS, STAY OUT OF THIS!!" screamed Bulma and Vegeta in unison. Trunks rolled his eyes. " Love you too." Bulma returned her glare to Vegeta. " Look, your highness," voice dripping with sarcasm, "you demand that I fix you food everyday, the least you could do is appreciate it!" Vegeta snorted at this, trying hard not to just burst out laughing. "Ha, me appreciate this crap you call food?! Pssh, thanks for the laugh." Bulma grinded her teeth in anger. "Vegeta." she began in a deadly low whisper. But before it could go any farther, a rumbling sound was heard. " Seriously, guys," Trunks said, while holding his aching stomach, " What's for breakfast, I'm starving." Leave it to a hungry saiyan to halt an upcoming fight with his stomach. So with a final glare towards the ouji, Bulma turned around and continued to fix breakfast.  
"Dig in." said Bulma, with a smile on her face as she placed the last plate of food on the table. Vegeta and Trunks just stared. "What?" Bulma asked, worried. "What's wrong?" Vegeta and Trunks continued to stare at the table. "Mom," Trunks whined, " I said I was hungry, not suicidal." "What do you mean by that?" Bulma inquired, starting to get annoyed. "My gosh," whispered Vegeta, truly astonished, " now I've truly seen everything. I mean, good golly, are eggs SUPPOSED to be green?" " Actually, I think its more of a purplish color, myself" replied Trunks. " And look at the pancakes. I thought pancakes were soft, and flat." "Yeah, and I thought pancakes were a golden-brown color." With each insult, Bulma turned redder with rage. "What the hell, is that sausage moving?!" " Oh hell no, I don't think so!" "Disgusting! I refuse to eat this shit! I mean, damn! Even the coffee is crap, or is that really coffee?" " Not to mention." Finally having enough, Bulma exploded. "ENOUGH!!!!" Silence filled the room as the two saiyajins slowly turned their heads to a very pissed off Bulma. After a few minutes though, hunger came back to the saiyajins full force. " Mom, can I just go over to Goten's house and eat breakfast with him" Vegeta saw this as his opportunity as well. "Good thinking son. I'd rather put up with that baka, Kakkarot and his onna, then even look at this scary shit any longer." Bulma's eyes turned red.  
  
Oh, when will men learn? NEVER tell a woman her cooking is bad.  
  
Some time later, Bulma's father, Dr. Briefs, made his way into the kitchen. " Good morning, Bulma dear, how's this lovely morning treating you?" When Mr. Briefs made it into the kitchen, his jaw dropped in shock. What was once a kitchen, was now a seemingly world war 3 destruction site. It was hard to tell the room was a part of the house, let alone what it used to be. Bulma looked up from the morning paper, and smiled at her father, as if nothing out of the ordinary happened. "Oh, its okay. Just your basic morning. So, how's yours?"  
  
".?"  
  
(Damn it, not again)  
  
Hi everyone! Hope you liked Chapter 1. I can't promise, but I think I'll be able to put up chapter 2 by next Friday. Well, till then. Ja ne! 


	3. Chapter 2: The fun begins

Hey Everyone, sorry for not updating sooner. So, if anyone cares, here's chapter 2.  
  
Disclaimer: I, once again, own nothing.  
  
When Purple Bunnies Attack  
  
The next thing on Vegeta's agenda for the day was, you guessed it, training. So, setting the gravity in his most prized possession, the GR, to 200 times gravity, Vegeta began his daily training.  
  
(Stupid wench) Vegeta thought bitterly, (why can't she just accept the fact that she cooks poison). " Can you believe the nerve of that wench, Mr. Chuckles. In my opinion, what we said about her food was putting it nicely." Now some of you may be wondering, just who the hell is Mr. Chuckles? Well, to make a long story short, Mr. Chuckles happens to be Vegeta's old pet chimpanzee. But really, think about it. After having your entire planet destroyed, and by a purple pansy that enslaves you for years, only to end up in the shadow of a person whose intelligence is very questionable, to say the least, you'd be insane too. After so many years of torture, Vegeta began to imagine his only friend in childhood, Mr. Chuckles, was there with him, while in all actuality, Mr. Chuckles was blown to smithereens along with the rest of the planet. Being the only thing Vegeta trusted, he became a friend of comfort for him, though he wouldn't admit it. And so, to this very day, Vegeta constantly talks to Mr. Chuckles, sharing the emotions he never shows with the imaginary mischievous chimp.  
  
Oh, how far the mighty have fallen.  
  
Anyway, after cursing the wench called Bulma a bit more, Vegeta continued his rigorous training. After 2 hours of this, Vegeta sat on the gravity chamber's floor in an Indian style position to begin his meditation. Clearing his mind of all thoughts and emotions, except on getting stronger that is, he fell into a deep meditative state. This usually lasted for another 2 hours, but once again, the peace and tranquillity of the moment was shattered.  
  
"Hi ya, Veggie-chan!" screamed a very annoyingly cheerful voice. Knowing from personal experience that he'd never get a moment's peace now, Vegeta lifted one eyelid and promptly glared at the cause of much of his pain. " Gee, Kakkarot," Vegeta said, turning on the sarcasm to full blast, "what a pleasant surprise. Tell me, do you actually plan the exact moment to come torture me, or is it just natural for you?" Completely unfazed by this, Goku plopped himself next to the ouji. " Nice to see your in a good mood today" Goku said. Vegeta snorted. "Hn. Good mood, ne? Sure if you call waking up to poison, and being attacked by a raging woman because you called it so, then yes, I'm just skippy." At once Goku felt great sympathy towards the ouji, and it showed all over his face. "Ah man, I know how that feels," Goku replied, shivering as memories came back to haunt him. " I remember the time I told Bulma her omelets tasted like play-doh." Goku then began to rock back and forth as the nightmares racked his mind. "The doctors said I barely made it." Raising an eyebrow at this, Vegeta only shook his head. " Whatever baka. Are we gonna train or not?" "Huh," Goku replied, "Oh yeah, sure." As if nothing had happened, Goku hopped to his feet and got in a battle stance. Vegeta did the same.  
  
Five hours later we find the last two full-bloodied saiyajins walk out the GR, in search of food. They were battered and bruised, but satisfied with the workout. A loud growl was heard. " Oh man, " said Goku, holding his stomach as if it caused him great pain, " I gotta eat something or I'm gonna pass out." Already annoyed by the younger saiyajins whining, plus the fact that he still had not surpassed him, he promptly told our hero to stuff it where the sun don't shine. When they finally made to the main kitchen, a loud gasp of horror was heard. For the kitchen was still desecrated from the morning's... festivities. Falling to his knees in despair, Goku began to howl out his pain to the world. "Oh, do shut up, you moron!!" Vegeta yelled. " Nooo," Goku exclaimed, " not the kitchen. Anything but the kitchen! Oh, when will the madness end. WHEN WILL IT END!!!!" "Vegeta's reply to this was a swift blow to the saiyajins head. "Baka" Vegeta murmured. Making an attempt to walk to the fridge, Vegeta called over to Goku over his shoulder. "Get up Kakkarot, and help me find some food." Drying the tears the horrible display caused him, Goku slowly stood to his feet, and walked behind Vegeta. Vegeta searched the rubble he passed for anything that might interest his stomach, seeing as how Bulma threw most of the food in the kitchen at him and his son earlier. " There's got to be someth... AHHH!" It seems that in his search for food, Vegeta forgot to watch where he was going, and promptly fell over an object on the floor. "SON OF A NAMEK!" Vegeta screamed in rage. Meanwhile Goku used all of his abilities not to burst out in insane laughter at the ouji. Picking himself off the floor to glare at Goku, who was turning red, and then to glare at the object that had caused his embarrassment. " What the hell is that?" Vegeta said. "Aww," Goku cooed, " it's a bunny!" And sure enough, it was a small, cute, furry bunny. But something didn't feel right with this creature to Vegeta. " I thought those creatures where white, or brown. Since when are they purple?" Vegeta said. Suddenly, said creature opened his eyes, to show pink colored pupils, and looked up at the saiyajin no ouji. A crooked smile came to its face.  
  
Oh, the horrors that are about to be unleashed on these poor idio... I mean young warriors.  
  
So, what you think? I wouldn't mind hearing from you. Hope you liked it. I'll try and get Chapter 3 up as soon as I can. Till then. Ja ne! 


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